One of my pet-peeves happens when I am talking to someone, but I discover they are not listening. They may be nodding their head and looking right at me, but their eyes tell a different story. Perhaps you have been on the other side of a conversation like that. You are pouring your heart and really feeling the emotion of your conversation, but the other person has that look that says, “Oh, did you say something?” I have actually found myself on both sides of a conversation like this a time a two (or three or four, who is counting anyway?.

Nearly 30 years ago, I discovered a truth that has helped me combat this problem in my own life. I do well with this concept, but even still I sometimes mess up. That concept is simply to stay present. The story being shared, the information being disseminated, the communication taking place is important enough to the person talking that they chose you to hear it and the very least you could do is listen and not just hear them.

The classic definition of hearing has more to do with noticing sounds, than actually making sense of the words being said (which is the definition of listening). So, the real challenge is to actually listen to others and not just hear them. Block out the noise, the distractions, the chaos all around you and give the person standing in front of you, your undivided attention. While they are talking to you, help them to feel as if they are the most important person in the world to you. Hear their words and listen for the meaning of the words. When we do this, we communicate to them that we care and that their words have value.

If you can learn to listen to the person in front of you, treat their story the way you would like them to treat yours, and let them feel is if they are the most important person the room, they may start to learn to do that for others. Who knows you may be the catalyst for making the world a better place, one conversation at a time.

Today, live!